Admitting Our Faults To Another
Step 5 – Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
I used to think that sharing secrets about myself was to open up old wounds.
I now have experienced ultimate release from pain and fear by sharing them with another person and God.
Now that we have discovered where we have been wrong about ourselves, others and our lives wouldn’t it be amazing to share this miracle of truth with another person and a higher being than ourselves. The key to the kingdom of freedom from self is admitting our faults to ourselves, to God and to another empathetic listener.
However for some of us this can be quite a daunting proposition to say the least. Every human being has dark secrets and some would rather die than admit them to another let alone a God they hardly even know.
The problem is that the consequence for skipping this step, or omitting any kind of dark secret is death by drinking or using drugs. Overwhelming evidence has shown us that those who avoided admitting ALL their exact nature of wrongs ended up drinking or using drugs. They thought they could get away with an easier softer way, but they could not. I beg of you to be fearless here and the courage will come as a result.
There is a true story in my country of a man who was sentenced to death by hanging for murdering his wife. This was at a time when the death sentence was about to be abolished in the country. Shortly after the crime took place the accused man asked a good friend and lawyer to defend him. After studying his case with a fine tooth comb, the lawyer advised his accused friend that the evidence was so overwhelming against him, that he would be found guilty and the lawyer would do his best to lighten the sentence from execution to life in prison. No promises were made.
Unfortunately for the accused man his lawyer friend did not win the court case and he was sentence to death by hanging.
On the morning of his execution, the lawyer went down to the cells a couple of hours before the hanging was to take place at dawn. The two friends sat whilst drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes and talking in casual conversation. The lawyer tried to convince his convicted friend to just admit the truth of his crime before he died. This would have at least freed the man of all the pain and guilt that he was about to take to his grave. For the last hour of his life on earth the man refused to admit to his crime and died a bitter and twisted soul.
To this man the pain of admitting his wrong doing was greater than the pain of dying. How sick does a man’s secret have to be to take it to the grave rather than admit it to a close friend who would listen without judgement or prejudice. Our sick secrets actually have the power to kill us and that is why nothing less than 100% admittance will free us from the alcoholic graveyard.
If you want freedom from the pain and loneliness that has haunted you mercilessly during the desperate years of your drinking, I can assure you that there is no other way for people like us. This Step is morale liberation and the stage when the power you now have access to will start to flow through you once you have admitted your wrongs. Our wrong doings to others are like that weir in the river that halts the flow of life. Once removed the river of life flows with a new and powerful sense of direction and purpose.
There are three separate stages to this Step and it is important to do this the correct way it was meant to be done.
- Stage One – Admit the exact nature of your wrongs to God. Simple – read out loud to God the exact nature of your wrongs from the final column in your Step 4 inventory.
- Stage Two – Rinse and repeat Stage One except read out loud to yourself.
- Stage Three – Rinse and repeat Stage Two except read out loud to someone you trust, someone who has a tight tongue and will not repeat to anyone what you have admitted.
Immediately after you have done this go to a quiet place where no one can find you. Turn off all your devices and pick up this book, read through the first five steps that you have now completed and ask yourself these questions:
Have I worked these steps to the best of my ability?
Do I understand the meaning of powerlessness and a life unmanageable?
Have I started to experience the process of “coming to believe” through working the steps?
Have I made a firm decision to hand my thoughts and actions over to the care of God?
Have I deliberately omitted anything about myself in the Step 4 inventory?
Did I take any short cuts in admitting my wrong doings to God, myself and another?
If you can answer to your satisfaction that you have achieved a job well done so far then thank God from the bottom of your heart that you know him better. You are about to walk through the archway to freedom from the bondage of your addiction
Paul Nobes – Author and Addictions Specialist