Step One – Admit You’re Life Is Upside Down or Perish
I used to think that winning any battle was to defeat one’s enemy. I now know that one has to surrender to one’s own weakness in order to achieve victory.
I believe that the greatest enemy to mankind is his ego. The ego separates the alcoholic from the truth of his own reality and therefore makes it almost impossible for him to identify and admit he is lost, defeated and doomed to die an alcoholic death. However if you have the capacity to be honest with yourself and have understood exactly what it means to be a real alcoholic, then you may be ready to admit that you are lost and may be suffering from a primary disorder called alcoholism.
Cannot See The Woods For The Trees?
I cannot emphasize enough how crucial it is to understand precisely what it means to be alcoholic. Then only you can decide if you are suffering from a disease that can only be treated with a spiritual solution. By the way save yourself the agony of “sitting on the fence” about this. It’s like being pregnant, you either are or you are not! You have to decide which one you are. If you have decided that you are alcoholic then I welcome you with open arms to the miracle of a second crack at life called a spiritual solution. If you are still not sure then I suggest you step into the nearest bar and try some controlled drinking. Try this method for a few weeks if needed. Only you need to be convinced and alcohol will be the decider one way or the other. If you find that you cannot control your drinking but are still not convinced you are alcoholic, then you are indeed suffering from the illusion that every alcoholic suffers from.
The illusion that the alcoholic suffers from is that one day or presently he might be able to control his drinking and this is the great self- betrayal that every alcoholic has uploaded permanently in his mind. Most alcoholics chase this delusion all the way to their painful death. If the alcoholic is to have any chance of recovery this delusion must be smashed! It has been proved beyond doubt the no real alcoholic ever gains control over his drinking. This is the first step to freedom from the bondage of alcohol. Your delusion needs to be destroyed or you will perish. This is the first Step of recovery.
Trying to control my drinking was like attempting to do battle with a formidable and invisible Goliath sized foe. I would get beat-up every day in the ring dominated by the king of addiction called the delusion of controlled drinking.
Step one asks me to admit that I have been defeated for the last time and calls out to me to stay out of the ring from this moment on. What is the use of fighting anymore if you cannot win?
Remember our problem is not alcohol our problem is we lack power over alcohol. We take a drink and lose all power of choice and control over alcohol. This is the first part of step one.
The second part of step one is being convinced by overwhelming evidence of your drinking track record that your life had become a train wreck. Simple as that. Even if you are a drunk like I was, who was a functional drinker, still working, still in a relationship and of good earning capacity, what is it like living in your head and walking in your shoes at the moment? Is it all good? If you take a hard and honest look at your experience of living your life desperately trying to control your drinking and managing the consequences, what does that look like to you right now? If your answer is “it’s awful” then I got bad news for you, soon it will get worse if you continue to drink. This is yet another fact, believe me when I say that it will get worse than it already is.
Are You Drowning In Your Own Head?
- Are you at peace with the world and others around you?
- How’s your financial situation?
- What is your family life like?
- How is your job or career going?
- What happens when you take a drink?
- What happens after your drinking sprees?
- Have you tried different methods to control your drinking and all have eventually failed?
- Do you find yourself living from one lie to the next when it comes to covering up your drinking habits?
- Are you faithful to your partner?
- What does the future look like for you right now?
The list of questions one could ask here is endless. If you take a good look at these questions, can you honestly say that you have it all under control and are managing your life well?
Or has your life spiralled out of control and you have become incapable of managing it back to any kind of sanity? What is it really like living in your head right now? Is it chaotic up there? Unbearable up there? Unmanageable up there?
Have your thoughts and your actions (your life in other words) become unmanageable? If you can answer this question with a resounding yes! Then you are well on your way through step one.
Time For Change – Let Go Of The Pain
Once we have admitted defeat to the beating alcohol dished out to us, our lives will begin to change dramatically for the better. To admit defeat is to immediately engage the power that is on offer through this program. There cannot be any shadow of a doubt in your mind that you are alcoholic, none whatsoever! This has to come from within you. It is called the step one experience, it is an internal shift of perspective so dramatic that it opens up the mind of the alcoholic to the truth of his reality that he has been running from all his life. The step one experience calls on the alcoholic to stop in his tracks, turn around, and face his ultimate truth. An alcoholic will only do this if he is given powerful evidence and explanation of why his life has become so shattered. He will only be able to face his reality if his experience matches the experience of what it means to be an alcoholic.
The power of the step one experience comes in the gift of hope. By admitting defeat he can now receive the solution, the power, higher power. Life has begun to take on a new meaning, a higher purpose of recovery and healing. The war is over!
Having understood your dilemma now and engaging the Step One experience, it is now time to take a bold step into the solution without delay!
Congratulations life is about to become juicy!
Paul Nobes – Author and Addictions Specialist